Wizards @ Hawks - Yi Jianlang's presence boosts Atlanta's Asian population to a whopping two percent.
Kings @ Cavaliers - A bored Beno Udrih begins penning his memoirs during a 20-second timeout. He finishes with 5 seconds to spare.
Blazers @ Knicks - Timofey Mozgov googles "Timofey Mozgov Funk" and finds this post.
76ers @ Pacers - Mike Dunleavy Jr doesn't want to be a jerk, but the Colts play tomorrow and his Jeff Saturday jersey isn't going to iron itself.
Pistons @ Bulls - Joe Dumars rings Jerry Reinsdorf's doorbell, leaves Ben Wallace and Ben Gordon on the doorstep, and runs into the woods while giggling.
Timberwolves @ Grizzlies - David Kahn and Chris Wallace play a game of poker; the table catches fire.
Nuggets @ Rockets - Thus far the most entertaining game of the season largely because Birdman discovers Purple Drank.
Bobcats @ Bucks - Brandon Jennings is fooled by Hasheem Thabeet's deceptive slow into thinking he orbited the planet and passed Thabeet for a second time in a single play.
Hornets @ Spurs - RC Buford devises a way the Spurs can acquire Chris Paul that doesn't involve kidnap. Just kidding, they're totally going to kidnap him.