Bucks @ Pacers - Inspired by John Salmons' goatee, Larry Bird brings back the 80's porn stache. Settle down, ladies.
Nets @ Magic - Vince Carter misses his revenge game with a beard infection.
Cavaliers @ 76ers - Andre Iguodala drops 38 points, making Joey Graham look like… well… Joey Graham.
Bobcats @ Pistons - Larry Brown and Joe Dumars meet pre-game to discuss how crappy the NBA was in 2004.
Wizards @ Knicks - This marks the first time John Wall has been in Madison Square Garden since June of earlier this year.
Bulls @ Celtics - In a matchup between two elite young Point Guards, the commentary won't stop talking about Shaq.
Hawks @ Timberwolves - Michael Beasley falls asleep in Atlanta's Club Crucial and misses the game. The game is being played in Minnesota.
Heat @ Hornets - F'real, CP3. Stop fucking around and throw some lobs to this basket. Maverick is gonna be pissed.
Grizzlies @ Suns - OJ Mayo inadvertently invents the 1-on-5 fastbreak when he tries to emulate the Suns' tempo without telling his teammates.
Clippers @ Nuggets - Chris Kaman's and Birdman's battle for post position is eloquently described by Marv Alberts as "Dueling Banjos."
Jazz @ Warriors - Raja Bell has a solid game against his former team... wait... *checks nba.com* ... yeah, former team.
Raptors @ Lakers - DeMar DeRozan's LA homecoming ends up being a scene-by-scene reenactment of Training Day.