Celtics @ Hawks - For everyone's safety, Kevin Garnett and Josh Smith are given double technicals before the game.
Pacers @ Heat - Tyler Hansbrough goes home happy having received autographs from each of the Big Three.
Timberwolves @ Thunder - The Thunder acquire Kevin Love from the Wolves for... I dunno... let's say a Nintendo 64. KAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!
Suns @ Rockets - Courtney Lee's and Robin Lopez' blind date ends awkwardly when each expected the other to be a woman.
Magic @ Spurs - Tim Duncan passes the torch to a disappointed Dwight Howard, who was expecting a literal torch. He made a costume and everything.
Kings @ Jazz - If it weren't for the chants of "DE-FENSE," Tyreke Evans could swear he was playing in Arco Arena.
Nuggets @ Warriors - Chris Andersen doesn't show up for the team flight because he's already in Oakland. Everybody knows not to ask.
Hornets @ Clippers - Monty Williams and Vinny Del Negro take a few shots in warm-ups. Both finish as the leading scorers of their respective teams.