76ers @ Knicks - Anthony Randolph dunks on Elton Brand and is charged with "Assault on the enfeebled."
Suns @ Hawks - While walking down the tunnel, Jeff Teague can't resist pulling an unmarked lever. Unbeknownst to him, he has inadvertently released the Dragic.
Warriors @ Pistons - Both teams finish the game with zero assists.
Timberwolves @ Rockets - When asked what part of his game he worked on over the summer, Sebastian Telfair says "ya moms" and giggles for like a whole minute. I guess you had to be there.
Celtics @ Thunder -After studying Paul Pierce's innate ability to get to the line, Kevin Durant learns the leaning-flail shot. He is now unstoppable.
Trail Blazers @ Lakers - Matt Barnes wears Beats by Dre headphones the entire game without any noticeable performance degradation.