Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Tonight's Preview

Celtics @ Cavaliers - Following a rematch of last year's Round 2 series, Dan Gilbert criticizes LeBron for being held scoreless.

Pistons @ Nets - In addition to Rip Hamilton, the entire Nets team is adorned with face-masks as a protective measure against Avery Johnson spittle.

Heat @ 76ers - Sixers' coach Doug Collins can't stop gushing about LeBron during 20 second timeouts and also every other stoppage of play.

Knicks @ Raptors - Andy Rautins' Canadian homecoming is ruined when even Canadians pretend not to know him.

Hawks @ Grizzlies - Hasheem Thabeet sits in genral admission because the Dakota Wizards have the night off.

Kings @ Timberwolves - A flabbergasted David Kahn is shocked to learn the work stoppage isn't until NEXT season. He's got to field a team quick or he'll be in big trouble.

Bucks @ Hornets - Every entry pass Brandon Jennings wastes on Drew Gooden is matched possession-for-possession by Chris Paul and Emeka Okafor. It's almost artistic in its futility.

Bulls @ Thunder - Jeff Green is relieved that Carlos Boozer is injured. It's not Boozer's strength, but the fact he reeks of Aqua Velva.

Bobcats @ Mavericks - Tyson Chandler has 12 points, 10 boards, and 3 blocks. Erick Dampier has a McGriddle while pretending to check his voicemail.

Pacers @ Spurs - The pace of this game is somewhere between a crawl and a mosey. George Hill twice falls asleep while dribbling.

Jazz @ Nuggets - Nike unveils an equally ill-fated "Deron Williams' People of Colorado" ad-campaign.

Rockets @ Warriors - David Lee's injured finger feels good enough to point blame at Monta Ellis. Cuz, honestly, it's probably his fault.

Trail Blazers @ Clippers - The Blazers accuse the Clippers of rolling back the odometer on that '96 Marcus Camby sold to them.


  1. Aqua Velva. . . so fitting for the Booze.

  2. haha about Gooden and Okafor, so true.

  3. love these, keep em coming please

  4. "Andy Rautins' Canadian homecoming is ruined when even Canadians pretend not to know him."

    As a Canadian, it's amazing that you know exactly how I feel.

  5. Hey man where are the pics? Cant wait to see celtics and the heat one

  6. Thought you'd like this shout out.

    Catch ya' next time, Doc.