Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Tonight's Preview

Celtics @ Cavaliers - Following a rematch of last year's Round 2 series, Dan Gilbert criticizes LeBron for being held scoreless.

Pistons @ Nets - In addition to Rip Hamilton, the entire Nets team is adorned with face-masks as a protective measure against Avery Johnson spittle.

Heat @ 76ers - Sixers' coach Doug Collins can't stop gushing about LeBron during 20 second timeouts and also every other stoppage of play.

Knicks @ Raptors - Andy Rautins' Canadian homecoming is ruined when even Canadians pretend not to know him.

Hawks @ Grizzlies - Hasheem Thabeet sits in genral admission because the Dakota Wizards have the night off.

Kings @ Timberwolves - A flabbergasted David Kahn is shocked to learn the work stoppage isn't until NEXT season. He's got to field a team quick or he'll be in big trouble.

Bucks @ Hornets - Every entry pass Brandon Jennings wastes on Drew Gooden is matched possession-for-possession by Chris Paul and Emeka Okafor. It's almost artistic in its futility.

Bulls @ Thunder - Jeff Green is relieved that Carlos Boozer is injured. It's not Boozer's strength, but the fact he reeks of Aqua Velva.

Bobcats @ Mavericks - Tyson Chandler has 12 points, 10 boards, and 3 blocks. Erick Dampier has a McGriddle while pretending to check his voicemail.

Pacers @ Spurs - The pace of this game is somewhere between a crawl and a mosey. George Hill twice falls asleep while dribbling.

Jazz @ Nuggets - Nike unveils an equally ill-fated "Deron Williams' People of Colorado" ad-campaign.

Rockets @ Warriors - David Lee's injured finger feels good enough to point blame at Monta Ellis. Cuz, honestly, it's probably his fault.

Trail Blazers @ Clippers - The Blazers accuse the Clippers of rolling back the odometer on that '96 Marcus Camby sold to them.

6 comments:

  1. Aqua Velva. . . so fitting for the Booze.

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  2. haha about Gooden and Okafor, so true.

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  3. love these, keep em coming please

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  4. "Andy Rautins' Canadian homecoming is ruined when even Canadians pretend not to know him."

    As a Canadian, it's amazing that you know exactly how I feel.

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  5. Hey man where are the pics? Cant wait to see celtics and the heat one

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  6. Thought you'd like this shout out.

    Catch ya' next time, Doc.

    http://sportschump.net/2010/10/28/amusing-tweets-from-game-one-of-the-world-series/4816/

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