Celtics @ Nets - Kevin Garnett's idea of rookie hazing is trying to kill Derrick Favors.
Knicks @ Raptors - Roger Mason Jr considers this game an extended tryout for Brian Colangelo.
Cavaliers @ Pistons - A broke Rick Mahorn is in the stands consoling Dan Gilbert and Usher. It'll be alright, fellas.
Warriors @ Thunder - Nenad Kristic throws a chair at Andris Biedrins, who responds by throwing a freethrow at Kristic (unintentionally).
Hornets @ Spurs - Darius Songaila spends his time on the bench narrating the gameplay with his impeccable David Attenborough impersonation.
Grizzlies @ Nuggets - Late in the third quarter, Acie Law finalizes his hierarchy of Vitamin Water flavors. Dragonfruit, you so delicious.
Wizards @ Suns - Gilbert Arenas is going to try to go for fifty points at whatever cost. Flip Saunders resigns after the game.
Clippers @ Trail Blazers - Continuing to try and endanger his career, Brandon Roy is revealed to be the cover athlete of Madden 12.